How to handle an affair at work, smart HR action strategies to save your organization

the shocking case of an in-house affair broadcast live around the world

a few days ago, an unbelievable thing happened at a concert by the rock band Coldplay: a couple was caught on camera during the show, with the woman covering her face in embarrassment and the man running for cover in horror. When frontman Chris Martin jokingly mentioned the possibility of an affair, the video went viral on social media.

the shocker came next. turns out, the couple were the CEO and CPO of the same data operations startup - a workplace scandal broadcast live to the world. The CEO eventually stepped down from his position.

this wasn't just gossip - how would we have reacted if it were our company?

three devastating ways an affair can affect your organization

internal affairs happen more often than you might think, and the damage they do to an organization, especially when leaders are involved, is unimaginable.

first, leadership morality breaks down. leaders are supposed to be the standard and role model for the organization. when their inappropriate personal lives become public knowledge, they lose all human respect and the motivation for employees to follow them.

second, it raises issues of fairness in the workplace. unfounded gossip starts to spread among employees. rumors of less demanding tasks being passed around, or certain employees being promoted, spread suspicion that even public decisions are swayed by personal relationships.

third, corporate reputation management suffers. if it gets out, as it did with Coldplay, the company's image takes a nosedive.

how to deal with infidelity in the workplace: problem-solving vs. therapy

the first thing that comes to mind when thinking about how to deal with an affair is to terminate the party. In fact, in Korea, there have been cases where termination for workplace infidelity is justified. acting quickly and in accordance with your company's infidelity termination policy may be the cleanest solution.

but what if the person is essential to the organization?

in the Harvard Business Review case, experts advise taking a therapeutic rather than a problem-solving approach.

a problem-solving perspective focuses on covering up the situation and stopping it from spreading - putting the offender on leave, moving departments, and clamping down on employees' mouths. This leaves the offender with the illusion that he or she is okay as long as he or she is competent, and employees with a greater sense of distrust that the company is rushing to cover up the situation.

a therapeutic perspective, on the other hand, focuses on nipping the spark of relapse in the bud. first, you need to make sure the person is aware of the impact their behavior has had on the organization: clearly inform them of the damage they've done to the company and give them a stern warning that they will be fired if they relapse.

rebuild trust by creating a company ethics policy

warnings alone aren't enough to rebuild trust in the workplace. Employees may resent the idea that a transfer and a warning is all that's required, or they may feel that the organization won't change if they get away with it.

to truly rebuild trust, creating a company ethics policy is essential. it's important to have a clear set of rules and organizational ethics standards, as well as a clear statement of what disciplinary action will be taken for violations. It's especially important that leaders lead by example and pledge to uphold these rules.

managing workplace gossip is also easier when you demonstrate your organization's commitment to bringing it to the surface and making it right, rather than trying to sweep it under the rug.

should a company care about an individual's ethical lapses? If it reflects badly on the company, it should.

FAQs

Q1. Can I fire someone for an internal affair? A1. Yes, you can. there are cases in Korea that have recognized that dismissal for workplace infidelity is justified. however, it is important that the employment rules or company ethics policy specify the relevant provisions to prevent disputes.

Q2. What is the difference between an in-house romance and an in-house affair? A. An intramural relationship is a relationship between unmarried employees, while an intramural affair is an inappropriate relationship involving a married person. while the former may be permitted under company policy, the latter is a clear violation of organizational ethical standards.

Q3. Do startups need an ethics policy? A3. They absolutely do. the Coldplay concert incident involved a startup CEO. startup ethics issues can happen regardless of the size of the organization, and the smaller the organization, the greater the impact of a single scandal.

Q4. How should I manage workplace gossip? A4. Transparent communication is key. the more you try to hide, the bigger and more distorted the rumors become. laying out the official position and sharing specific steps to prevent a recurrence will reduce unnecessary speculation.

the bottom line

the key to dealing with infidelity in the workplace is to address it rather than cover it up. Setting clear organizational ethical standards and leading by example will restore trust.

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