the real meaning of leadership is about growing your team, not shining a light on yourself. Learn the characteristics of good leaders and how to motivate your team to grow.
table of contents
- the difference in leadership demonstrated by 19th-century British magnates
- the problem with leaders who steal people's confidence
- what real leadership looks like to drive team growth
- leader behaviors that make people shine
- frequently asked questions
the leadership difference between 19th-century English lords and ladies
an interesting anecdote is told from 19th-century England. a woman had dinner with each of two men who were political rivals at the time. When people asked her what her impressions of them were, she replied, "They were very different.
when she was with William Gladstone, she felt that he was a very intelligent and charming man. On the other hand, when she was with Benjamin Disraeli, she said that he made her feel like a smart and charming man.
this story is not a true story, but it was created to illustrate the stark difference in personality between the two brilliant minds. despite his brilliance, Gladstone was known for his overly preachy demeanor. even Queen Victoria grew tired of his endless lectures and purposely avoided meeting him. the queen reported that every time she spoke to Gladstone, she felt like a fool who knew nothing.
the problem with leaders who steal people's confidence
we see leaders like Gladstone in organizations today. the leader is very smart and competent, but strangely, the competence and confidence of their team members declines over time.
when it's time for meetings, teamwork disappears and members look for the leader's reaction rather than contributing their own ideas. reports gradually become documents that summarize the leader's thoughts, not the team's. the leader makes all the decisions, and people lose the opportunity to think and make their own judgments.
in this culture, people lose their sense of self-efficacy and stop growing because they're told they can't do it, and organizational performance is limited to what the leader can do. no one is willing to try new things in an environment that lacks psychological safety.
real leadership drives team growth
real leadership is the exact opposite. it requires leadership coaching that listens to people's immature ideas, encourages them to develop those ideas together, and gives them the opportunity to try again if they make mistakes. in organizations with this kind of leader-follower relationship, people grow quickly.
the characteristics of a good leader are clear. the role of a leader is not about how much you shine, but how much you make those around you shine. like Disraeli, helping others discover their value is what truly motivates people.
an organization that says, "Wow, our leader is really smart" after a meeting is much stronger than one that says, "I'm more capable than I thought I was. if you study leadership practices, successful organizations are always led by leaders who bring out the best in their people.
how leaders make people shine
so how do you do this specifically? first, in meetings, leaders should take the time to listen to their team members rather than jumping in with answers. be open to ideas, even if they're not perfect, and make it a process to build on them together.
it's also important to delegate the right amount of authority so that you can experience small successes. learning from small failures is much more conducive to team growth than not trying anything for fear of making mistakes. in an environment of psychological safety, members are more willing to take risks.
discover and recognize each member's strengths through regular one-on-one meetings. Specific feedback that says, "You excelled at this," is a powerful motivator that boosts self-efficacy.
frequently asked questions
Q1. Won't meetings turn into mountains if the leader doesn't give input?
A. The leader's role is to provide direction, but not force answers. After team members share their thoughts freely, the leader's role is to summarize the key points and present options. it may take more time at first, but as team members get into the habit of thinking for themselves, meetings become more efficient.
Q2. Won't empowering people set them up for failure?
A. Growth happens through small failures. the important thing is to give them a chance to try, within reason and without being fatalistic. Instead of giving them a big project right from the start, start with small tasks and help them gain experience with success. If they fail, take time to reflect together so that it's a learning opportunity.
Q3. Isn't it faster for leaders to take charge of organizational performance?
A. In the short term, yes, it can be. but an organization where the leader is the only one doing everything becomes an organization where the leader is limited by his or her own capabilities. on the other hand, an organization that grows its members multiplies its capacity over time and creates a sustainable system that can function without a leader.
Q4. What should I do if team members don't want to speak up?
A. Team members who have been accustomed to a passive culture for a long time don't change easily. Start with small, casual questions, like what do you think about this, to elicit input, and respond positively to what they say. it may take time, but if you keep trying, change will happen.
Q5. What's the first thing I should do to become a better leader?
A. Start by reflecting on your own leadership style. after a meeting, ask your team members, did they feel free to express their opinions in today's meeting? take their honest feedback and make small changes, one at a time. no leader is perfect, but those who are willing to grow are a great inspiration to their team.
wrap up
leadership isn't about you shining, it's about them shining. Is your leadership inspiring your team to trust in their abilities? start making small changes today.
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